Blast you, delays!

So I don't really have anything fun to write about this week, aside from the fact that I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off today tryign to get things done so I can be to work on time. 

I didn't get a blog entry in yesterday, because I was busy writing a work of fiction that has been put on the backburner for a number of years, but I recently got bit by the writing bug and have taken up my proverbial pen, so to speak.  So I looked through the 8 or so possible beginnings that I wrote way back when, took a few good lines out of them, and picked a spot and started writing.  I'm hoping that if I just write and then revise after I'm finished, I'll avoid the problem I usually have, which is revising in the midst of writing.  Blah.

Also, took my [new] car to get it fixed from the accident I had in November.  The estimate increased the amount of damage from around 3k to 4k+, which was a shock to me.  But since I only have to pay my deductible (which is outrageous anyway) I guess it could be worse.  Oh, and they're gonig to need my car for exactly 2 weeks, because they need to order parts and such.  So the world of rental cars is where I'm living for the next two weeks.  Which makes me sad, because I have to pay for it.  And while I have the money, it really makes me cranky.  Believe me when I say I'm going to be revising my insurance policy, which means I'll never need a rental car from an accident as long as I have insurance on this car, because that's the way it goes. 

Needless to say, didn't get to do much reading of gay news in the last week, been busy working on other projects and whatnot.  But we'll see what happens.  Summer is coming and therefore events are going to be happening that I will get to report on, or I'll just continue to complain about my job, while being grateful that I have one.  =)

Happy Thursday!

Busy day and delay-ish-ness

So, I was planning on doing this early, but then I got involved in some busywork that while tedious needs to be done.  So late blog.  But at least I'm writing.

So, since my roommate is getting married and I received the news, I have been taking steps to prepare myself for the eventual move out that I'm going to have to make.  And while I understand that it's not for quite some time yet, planning ahead never hurt anyone.  Most seriously in this case.  I'm also realizing that the cost of living is ridiculous.  I've increased my hours at work to an even 40 (and it got approved) so that's more money, and I'll be getting a raise (and finding out how much by the end of the week, hopefully), and submitted my name for a slightly better paying position but one that's casual in nature.  Unfortunately, it looks like that's not going to be enough for me to be able to live on my own.  For a couple of reasons.

One reason being that I own a dog.  Any place that I could feasibly rent for myself (cheap studio apartments) don't allow dogs, and any that do are at least $200 more expensive because of dogs, with an additional $25 as a pet fee.  And that's just additions to the base rent which is usually $400+.  The second reason being that I have made some poor choices in the past and I have a feeling that the results of such choices are going to render me unable to rent anywhere.  Which means roommates, which isn't all bad, truth be told.  Finding one, that's the kicker.  I guess I'm just a little down because I don't make enough to support myself.  Adulthood is dumb.

I've recently (possibly because I've been depressed about the current state of my adult existence) been thinking about how I relate to people and who I decide to interact with an why and etc... That being said I recently had an exchange with someone that I considered a friend on Facebook (which is totally the place for intelligent discourse and completely comprehensible conversation) but his pompous wordy method of communicating notwithstanding, I was left wondering (after I unfriended him) if the reason that I don't have time for such convoluted discussion is because I'm concerned for my survival.  I mean, I remember having spirited debate in college about obscure topics and philosophy and ideas and all that, but I don't do that anymore.  Did the glamor of pontificating about the nebulous finally wear off in the bleak face of adulthood survival?  I don't know.  I guess, or maybe I'm being melodramatic.  Wouldn't be the first time I've been accused of that.

So being that it's nearly 1 am, and I have to work tomorrow, I will leave you with this article.  I've been feeling similarly for a long time now, which is why I can't really throw all my support behind the It Get's Better campaign.  Because it may get better for some, but where are those people during the daily torment.  Sound bites are all well and good, but when faced with the harsh realities of life, sound bites ring hollow and empty and leave people with echos of dreams that they won't see for a long time. 

Ok, there.  I'm done.  Perhaps happier things next week. 

I'm a loser, so that mean I win? Apparently not...

As a point of order (yes I'm referencing Glee, which I will be addressing) I have to say that I usually watch Glee on Wednesday mornings, as I'm not home Tuesday nights and get home far to late to appreciate it.  In any case, there's a couple of issues I have with Glee, or more poignantly it's fans.  And then it's message from this week's episode, which incidentally is an issue I've been having for awhile.

Firstly, I would like to call attention to the fact that just last episode pretty much everyone (including me) was not happy with Glee and/or it's message.  Some were even ready to jump ship and abandon the show altogether because of the tiresome storyline that last episode wove.  I'll admit freely that I had issues with the presentation of the storyline and the lack of realism it had, but it's TV and primetime TV on Fox no less, so I was willing to give it a little leeway.  After all, everyone (even Television show writers) have off days.  But apparently not everyone felt as I did (shocking, I know).  However, after last nights episode all seems to have been forgotten, and even praised because of a couple of things, I'm guessing.  One probably was the fact that Blaine and Kurt finally got together.  It's about time.  Jeez, they've only been singing around each other for pretty much the whole season, so it's nice to finally see two boys kiss on primetime network television (twice!).  Kudos!  The second issue that probably had fans rushing back to declare allegiance to the show is the fact that it returned to spouting that "new" idea that being a loser is something to be celebrated because "it get's better'. 

Now, I'm not against the It Gets Better project at all.  In fact I'm wholly behind it.  I only mean to use the phrase as a anecdote that people spout because they're unwilling to really listen to other people's problems and share their pain, because while immediate pain is fleeting, that doesn't mean that there won't be more down the line.  Then Glee performed Pink's song Dirty Little Freaks.  And then the original songs that New Directions performed.  All good songs with a great message.  But the idea that celebrates being a freak is a little chalky to me.  I grew up as a freak/nerd/outcast/pick appropriate term.  I was never really accepted by my peers (and oddly enough it continues to this day, meh, whatever).  In any case, yay, celebrate the things that set you apart from others, don't be a sheep, own who you are.  Those are all wonderful messages when they come from pop stars(and starlets) and television shows.  But what nobody mentions that along with accepting your differences comes hardship and ridicule from those who are agents of upholding the status quo.  It's hard to be different or have different ideals or opinions, and you have to be willing to stick with it and deal with the crap that will be slung your way for embracing that.  Nobody ever mentions that. 

Now the reason that I mention that is that I read this story and I watched the video, and then I read the news story linked on the one that I originally saw.  Now, I'm not sure of the orientation of the young man who got attacked, but I feel for him.  I've never been physically assaulted in my adult life (and I work very hard not to be) but to be honest, I'm actually afraid sometimes that it will happen.  And I know that I don't have the physical wherewithal to protect myself and am pretty much solely reliant on my wits and my ability to talk my way out of things, which has served me well.  But I think his message of we need to do more is a relevant one.  With all due respect to the It Gets Better project, it's one thing to say that it gets better, but a whole other thing to work towards that goal.  I see a lot of talking, but I don't see a lot of action and or outrage at the state of affairs for Gay Rights in this country.  Maybe we've become complacent, but maybe we're victims of a society of distractions.  Or maybe we're just waiting for the majority of our opponents to die off.  Who knows?  But either way there's not much fire/passion/heart in the movement for gay rights, beyond a general agreement that something needs to get better.

As evidence that while we're talking and saying that it gets better, another young man ends up beaten to death.  Read about it here and here.  At the end of the news story (the second link) the aunt of one of the party crashers says he can't be a gang menber because he's anemic and weighs "like 80 pounds".  Really, it's impossible for him to be a gang member because of that.  I'm sorry, last I checked even someone with those physical stats and whatnot could wield a firearm, which is more than threatening enough. 

I thought about writing more, but I've been eloquent and indignant enough.  I got passed over for even the chance to interview for a supervisor position at work.  I was going to go more in depth about the situation, and wrote all about it, but then sense got the better of me and I thought I'd better not.  Since this is on the internet which even people at work can access.  =)

Anyway, I have to shower and go walk my dog.  Happy Wednesday!

Seriously am I the only sane one?

Ok, so maybe it's that I'm not really sane.  Maybe I've gone 'round the bend, and the rest of  you are sane but it looks like crazy because I'm a loony toon.  I mean let's get real here people.  Also, apologies for the delay, apparently the disparity between sanity and insanity causes synapses to misfire and I get some sort of mental time differential going on.  Either that, or, I just didn't care.  Anyway, apologies all around!

So, yes, I'm talking about some personal issues. My roommate for example, who is now engaged to her boyfriend/fiance after only knowing him for 4 months.  Yes, 4 months.  Not 4 months of dating after being friends for a year or two, nope, 4 months total.  Kinda crazy.  And don't give me that BS about sometimes it works, because the only way it works is if you give it time.  Period.  Any arguments to the contrary, especially involving my grandparents (who had a romance of the ages) are null and void, because of 3 reasons.  1) love like what my grandparents had happens for about 6 couples every year, and assuming that they actually stick with it, maybe about 3 couples every year will have such a relationship.  That's 6 people total out of 6.5 billion people in the world.  2) it was a different time and had different values.  People were forced to marry due to pregnancy because (much like today) nobody teaches anything about sex (more on that in a bit) and because they couldn't tell their parents to butt the hell out of their lives, and also because people died much earlier than they do now.  When the average age of dying is somewhere around 75-80 then that means that you had to get married at the ripe and worldly age of 20 something because you'd be dead-ish by the time your children were of marrying age. (ok so there were really 2 reasons under number 2 but whatever) 3) the love that my grandparents had was so epic it was nearly visible.  You could see a marked change in my grandmothers mannerisms and personality when she spoke of my grandfather, not to mention her physical posture and stance was completely different.  The kind of love that allows you to get married/engaged after knowing each other for under a year is so powerful it's nearly palpable. 

And then I get word that my best friend is moving into a house with her brother, his wife (my cousin, don't ask my family tree is convoluted, but not hillbilly convoluted), and their 2 kids.  A house which they are all going to rent.  But according to my source, my B.F. is going to be spending 90% of her time at her boyfriends house.  Clearly there's something wrong with this picture...

Anyway, onto other things.  I watched this past weeks episode of Glee, and while I'm completely over Blaine (who's not that cute anyway), I'm a little disappointed at the approach glee took to the whole sex ed episode.  I mean I understand that Glee is supposed to be wholesome family entertainment while a vehicle to communicate about bigger issues, blah blah blah.  Which means that you shouldn't be doing anything about sex, personally.  But if you're going to do that, it might behoove you to make an actual (or semi-actual) representation of High school students and what they know about sex.  I mean let's get real here, when I was in HS (nearly a decade ago, god I feel old) we all knew about sex and nearly half of us were having it.  Clearly things have progressed to the point that even the most sexually ignorant HS student still knows how it all works, if not having been taught by their parents/or in school, then they looked it up on the internet or from their friends.  Clearly Glee missed the mark on realism.  I mean, cucumbers causing pregnancy and storks bringing babies?  Really?  I would challenge anyone to find a HS student in the US that doesn't at least know the functions/mechanics behind sex.

So a comment on what's going on in WI at this point.  Basically, as near as I can figure, our new governor proposed a bill to actually fix the budget (which actual fiscal responsibility had been shelved for the future) after he spent 130ish million dollars on special interest groups, and said that getting rid of collective bargaining rights would help balance the budget.  The 14 democrats fearing what this would mean for their state and constituents fled the state so they could not be compelled to enter the capitol building and allow a vote (since only their physical presence in the building is required for measures regarding money.)  After three weeks of nobody listenting to anyone, the GOP of WI decided to strip the money provisions from the bill and vote on the collective bargaining rights, passing it (obviously) without the presence of the dems there.  Which they said they could do because the presence of the dems was only needed for measures regarding money, GOP removed any provisions regarding money, ergo the vote.

Now, I'm going to say that were situations reversed GOP would have fled and Dems would have done exactly what their opponents did, mostly because nobody is communicating/listening to anyone else.  That and politicians in the US are bought and not elected, and need to tow the party line in order to keep the money coming in.  That's all that's happening here in WI, and now in other states.  This is the US, welcome to the Plutarchy.

*sigh* Anyway, so I was doing some facebook-ing, or something.  I don't really remember how I came across them, except the princess ones.  That link came from a facebook group.  Anyway, since I'm a disney fan, I always like seeing art about my favorite disney characters.  So I present to you a dark take on Disney princesses, and really HOT Disney Princes.

OK, so not a lot of news, and a lot of opinionated bitching.  Welcome to the last week of my life.  Hope you enjoy the Disney stuff though!  Have fun.

Things I don't understand

As my state continues to find itself in the spotlight as information filters to those previously too inept to find it, and realize that they made an egregious mistake, I find myself not understanding a few things about how this all works.

I really don't understand how people didn't know that this sort of thing was going to happen if a member of the GOP was elected.  With the increase in the teabaggers, clearly that was the way the whole crapshoot was going to go, and anyone with half a brain could see that.  Ergo, I don't understand why this all came as a huge surprise.

I don't understand why the governor won't communicate with the unions.  They have said numerous times that they'd be willing to make numerous concessions in regards to helping to reduce the budget shortfalls, as long as they keep their collective bargaining rights.  Maybe they did make a mistake by refusing to compromise in the beginning, but both sides should be working and communicating  towards something that can get our state moving again. 

I don't understand that when we, the people, are called to do our civic duty and sit on a jury that we are told that we cannot allow our personal, religious, or any other bias to influence the way we rule as a jury.  We are to look at the law only.  But why can politicians not follow that directive when making and influencing policy?  Shouldn't the will of the people, who elected them, have greater say over how their elected officials represent their needs/wants rather than some party line or political agenda, or religious ideal?

Shouldn't news organizations be held to a higher standard that what we are currently doing.  When Fox news can show footage when talking about protests in Madison, WI that is clearly and obviously not in Madison, WI, isn't that misleading?  Now I watched the clip, and clearly the segment was about the protests in Madison, WI.  Indeed, they make a point of marking all the footage from Madison.  Then they move on to talking about people from other areas of the country, coming to Wisconsin to protest.  While doing this they show footage of a union protest turning sour.  Clearly it is misleading, as they want to instill in the minds of viewers that protests in Wisconsin are not peaceful, and that is bad form.

So while things in Wisconsin are going wonky, some Teabaggers want to take us huge steps backward on the right to vote.  I mean, clearly this is the overtones of an agenda to turn the clock back for the US, and take us back to a grossly outrageous class-ist system, as if we're not already living in a Plutarchy.  If you're confused it's an amalgamation of the words Oligarchy and Plutocracy. 

In other news, I have remained employed for one continuous year.  I'm grateful and whatnot, but after overdrawing my bank account, I'm realizing that this whole living paycheck to paycheck thing is a pain in the ass.  *le sigh* I'm just hoping that this all doesn't go on too much longer.  I mean as it is I'm hoping for the end of the world next year, because things just aren't getting better.  Blah!

Sorry for the short bitchy post, but I'm overwhelmed with Wisconsin drama, and not much else is going on.  See you next week!

Delay's be gone!

Well I think that's an appropriate title for a blog post regarding teh announcement today from Washington to stop defending DOMA in regards to it's civic definition of marriage.  Delays be gone!  So, here's the thing.  I have an issue with the "gay marriage debate" and an opinion that most people don't want to hear, because I don't toe the party line as far as the gay viewpoint.  Another article I read this week made me smile, since I now know I'm not alone with not being in line with the common thoughts on gay issues.

So, gay marriage.  There's two separate issues in regard to this issue in the legality of gay marriage that I can see, and one opinion of my own.  One is the definition of marriage.  Two is the separation/joining of civil benefits with a traditionally religious institution.  My opinion is that we [the gay community] shouldn't want anything to do with such a hetero tradition anyway. 

So the definition issue.  Marriage has two definitions.  One of them is (as much as gay activists dislike it) a traditional, historical, and biblical definition that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman.  The other definition, as I see it, is that of a contract between two individuals in regards to how their government views them.  Like it or not, marriage has ceased to be strictly a religious institution because of the number of civil benefits associated with it. 

This brings me to the second issue of marriage.  That of the number of civil benefits it gives, contrasted by the religious benefits.  Of the latter there are none, aside from the intangible.  The idea that God now sees you as one person.  Of the former there are numerous (too numerous to name) but a few of them pertain to hospital visitation rights, joint property, inheritance, medical power of attorney, etc.  In my opinion marriage stopped being a religious institution the minute the benefits of the government outweighed the benefits the church gives you.  Also, when that happened, the definition changed to be that of a contract, and the rights of the people afforded them under the Constitution of the US became applicable. 

My personal issue: since the inception of the "gay community" we have had our own, pretty much everything.  Our own neighborhoods, bars, businesses, etc.  And we have fought for equal treatment in nearly everything, despite the only difference we collectively share that separates us is a preference to engage in sex acts with a member of the same sex.  But we still want a part of that hetero idea of marriage, for some reason.  I guess it is so we can be considered truly equal to the average hetero.  But why can't we be content with something that has a different name, and gives the same benefits according to the government?  If you think about it that way (I do at least) the whole argument is over a name.

The entire article that spawned the above, would be found here, because President Obama has finally decided that the contract definition of marriage should be paramount and therefore all US citizens rights should be protected and not discriminated against.

On to other things.  I was very happy to read that another 'Mo finally had the guts to publicly say something that I have thought and said since I came out.  You can find out what was said here.  And I for one am very glad that they haven't found any way to determine why a person is homosexual.  Because if they did determine it to be biological, they'd figure out a way to screen for it, and that would open up a whole different can of worms.

Going in a completely different direction, I was watching the Glee that we recorded last night, and saw a preview/commercial for this movie and I was pretty irked.  I mean the story is basically a modern retelling of Beauty and the Beast, as far as I can see.  And those retellings aren't getting any better.  I mean they turn a pretty boy ugly and tell him he'll stay that way unless he finds someone to love him.  That's not really making it easier for those of us who don't have "movie star looks", you know?

What I would like to see is a take on Beauty and the Beast where the beast is turned into a horrible monstrous and animalistic thing, a la the Disney version, with the same sort of curse, be this way until you find someone to love you as you are.  Then enter the prince(ess), a young man wandering in the middle of nowhere, who finds himself in the company of said beast.  They fall in love, and the curse is lifted, but when the beast's true form is revealed, its really a prince/guy, thus proving that love really is blind.  Although I'm not sure if my version has a happy ending or not yet.  I'd like it to, but there's no telling.

Now some sad news, at least to me, is that one of the co-producers of the visually stunning, if a bit plot lack-luster, Chronicles of Narnia movies passed away.  He was also the author of a book about a gay teen with superpowers, which makes his works on the christian-ish narnia movies very interesting.  The article that I found reporting on his death can be found here. 

In regards to the dissent in my state, I have only to say that I'm not going to write about it here, save this paragraph and anything already written.  I'm in support of the protesters because I disagree with Gov. Walker's method, which is (as far as I can see it) going outside of the democratic process.  This clip, from MSNBC by State Rep. Gordon Hintz, exemplifies my feelings, if not my vehemence.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

And someone in this country ought to have a job that is protected, since all private sector workers are basically at will employees and can be fired at any time for any reason.  But I agree with the opposite, in that unions can get too big for their britches and overstep their bounds.  But the fact is that we live in a country that has a fundamentally broken system on all levels, and until we rectify that, nothing constructive and productive can come from this nation.

So while my state tears itself apart, my delays keep happening

So my delays have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Wisconsin seems on the verge of implosion.  I'm pretty sure if this goes on for much longer, there'll just be a huge hole where the state used to be filled with cheeze floating in beer/booze and viscera.  Gov. Walker apparently wants to toe the party line and rid out state workers of collective bargaining rights and effectively de-unionize the state. 

Now, there are two issues with this.  One being that I think that with the rise of the private sector and the power that it has gained since the Reagan years and the deregularion of the US pretty much, that unions are just as necessary as they were when they first began in order to protect the rights of US workers across the nation, not only in Wisconsin.  Assuming that any of these major corporations has employees in the US aside from CEO's and the like, their rights need to be looked after.

That is not to say that Unions are the best thing in the world.  Like any institution that exists for any length of time, unions have the chance to become as corrupt as the corporations that they were created to protect against.  I think that this is usually due to money and where it comes from.  Much like lobbyists, people pay money to a union to "support" it, but really paying to make sure certain interests are looked after as far as the union is concerned.

This brings me to issue two.  After seeing my home state on the verge of implosion, I have to wonder at what point does following a party line fail?  At what point does loyalty to a political ideal or a religious one for that matter, overshadow the blatant needs of the people?  And when are the people in charge of this country going to start asking themselves this questions?

There are a few facts that people seem to overlook.  People in this country need Jobs to pay for things, and they're aren't any to be had.  The price of things necessary to live (food, housing, etc...) is getting to be outrageous.  The money paid to keep people healthy and not die is astronomical and sending numerous people into bankruptcy.  Because people aren't working/can't find work they're falling back on government programs designed to help them for a short time and overtaxing the system because the programs weren't designed to be a long term fix. 


I am not an politician nor an economist but after being unemployed and nearly homeless, these are issues that I have noticed.  These are issues that need to be addressed in a frank and rational manner.  I'm sure there are multiple ways to fix the issues, and I have a feeling nearly all of them (due to the over politicized and dual political party nature of our country) there will have to be some compromise.  But, in reference to the issue above, neither party is really willing to give any ground on the issues because they're too wrapped up in their own party ideals to take a step back and really do what needs to be done.


Ok, so now I'm finished with the really deep part of the post.  So the reason why I'm delayed is because of not having a computer caused a number of things to build up that needed to be typed and read and printed, and some of them were time sensitivity, ergo when I got a computer I needed to work hardcore on some of them.  So aside from running errands, and my other bi-weekly D&D game (I leveled from 4 to 5 in Wiz and Clr meaning 3rd level spells, YAY!  Bonus points if this made you smile and/or giggle) I was working all day on other stuff, which led to the delay.


So here's something.  One of my NYR's was to give up something from my past (I won't get into all the sordid details) but suffice it to say I wrote a letter expressing all my feelings and put it in an envelope and put it in a box, content to let that piece of paper shoulder my burden.  Which from Jan1 it has.  Last night I had a (good/decent) dream about the thing I was letting go.  I'm not sure what to do with that.  I'm inclined to ignore it and just move on with my life, but how are you supposed to give up something/let something go if your subconscious keeps reminding you of that which you're supposed to be giving up.  Blarg.


So, I was perusing news and I came across this article.  Now, I thought that sexual orientation wasn't supposed to change, but according to this guy it's as easy as flipping a switch. *quirks eyebrow*  Really?  I smell BS.  And then he claimed that he OD'd on Mucinex?  Come on!  You don't shoot someone with a pistol, a shotgun, and then axe them all to hell while on Mucinex.  Mostly because if you're on Mucinex, you're probably too sick to to anyting much less shoot someone and axe them into oblivion. 


And then there's the huge news that this article goes on to say.  Which living in the State/City where the university is located, I have to say "really?"  As if this is big news.  But there again, as my state tears itself apart, other news stories get publicity. 


I think that this article, while having an inflammatory headline, is really good.  I'd like to write a similar letter to my college explaining how things changed and how I was treated differently by people after I came out.  And how a lot of people stopped talking to me and I lost a lot of people I considered to be friends after I came out.  It didn't seem like such a big but apparently it got around. 


Oh well, here's the blog, I'm updating regularly, and I have a computer again.  YAY!  So here's to a blog update on time next week!