Blog! Languish no more!

I'm back.  For at least 52 new updates.  It's part of my NYR's (New Years Resolutions).  My goal is to blog once a week for a whole year, a week being Sunday to Saturday.  Therefore this would constitute week one.  The goal also includes blogging when I don't think I have anything to say, because that's never a problem in real life, so why would it be a problem in cyberspace?

So, what to blog about?  How about I'm happy that the bat shit crazy lady is no longer running for president, but I'm sorry that Santorum is really in the lead.  But I'm very glad that the GOP is apparently so fractured and reduced to infighting that they don't even have any non-crazy candidates to put forward for election year.

I think this year is going to be the year of cooking.  I had a recipe pop into my head for a seafood alfredo lasagna.  Involving crab, shrimp, scallops, layers of basil and spinach and cheese.  It looks good in my head, but I think I need to research scallops a bit before I go forward because I've never cooked them, or bought them for that matter.  So here's hoping.

What else?  Oh, I decided to get back into online dating after last years NYR of not.  But after being matched with people I'm acquainted with who have turned me down. Some for really stupid reasons (i.e. "we know too many of the same people").  I mean isn't that kind of the point?  The movie Latter Days (I recommend it, go find it and watch it)  has a quote where it says the LA is a city where everybody danced with one eye on the door, waiting for something better to come in.  But would they know it if it did?  I'd like to take that one step further and say that idea applies to gay culture, because that's what it is.  I get that nobody is willing to settle, but as Dan Savage is fond of saying, let's get into rounding.  So the guy that's interested in you isn't a 10, or even an 8 or 9.  Maybe he's a 5 or a 6 or even a 4.  But round up.  You have to give a little to get a little.  I wish more guys understood that prior to the age of 30.  But at this point that's a pot and kettle situation. 

Happy Saturday!

Is anything really new?

I was facebooking (I love that websites end up becoming verbs) with a friend from HS the other day and she had asked me if there was anybody wanted to go to Wall Street for the Occupy Walls Street movement.  I replied that I would love to but that I have to work.  Her response was to ask if I could take any time off (a week was what she asked) to go to NYC.  I replied that I didn't have that much PTO, and couldn't go.  Her rebuttal was to say something along the lines of "I love you and I'll support you if you ever decide to fight back" (I'm paraphrasing).  But that last comment really got me thinking.

I really would like to protest the whole idea that 1% of the people in this country control 99% of the wealth, or some such thing like that, because I think that it's something worth protesting.  But how can you reconcile protesting an injustice with fulfilling your obligations.  So how do you protest something that you believe in if it means that you'll possibly lose your job.  Is it really fair to look down on those who choose not to protest in favor of fulfilling their obligations and keeping their job?  I don't think it's fair but that's the world we live in. 

Also, I have a friend who apparently is very offended at my repeating of good and fun sayings that I have heard.  I'm inclined to think that imitation is the greatest form of flattery.  Is this not the case?  More things to ponder.

Mental Rumblings

So, I haven't been updating.  I've been busy, and focusing on other things, ergo my blog has been languishing.  Which is not to say that I haven't had deep thoughts that ought to go out into the world, just that I don' think that they can be put here.  They're not bad, but they're not for public consumption, I think. I have been thinking about journaling more, but again, that leaves my blog to gather dust and cobwebs. 

Maybe I need a focus?  Something more to write about than my opinions, because let's face it, if I can't bring myself to write about them then clearly they aren't that important to me.  But then again, my opinions make up my voice, my thoughts, my personality, more or less.  If I don't care about them anymore, what do I have?  *le sigh*

I suppose I could write my opinions on Gay Rights and the fight for Equality, constantly coming out (no pun intended) against the GOP and other bigoted homophobic public figures.  Call them out, and hold them accountable for what they say and expect them to back it up.  I could focus on religious issues, but does anybody really care?  I mean outside of the liturgical and theological community who really cares, unless it pertains to an issue currently in the public eye.  Naturally I have to have an interest in two issues that are, for the moment, polar opposites.  Despite years of work on both sides, it seems that reconciliation isn't going to happen.  Perhaps the turmoil I feel spiritually comes from this?  I'm not sure.  I'm rereading the Dragonlance Chronicles (Autumn Twilight, Winter Night, Spring Dawning).  Usually I feel a connection with Raistlin.  He's an outcast, slave to his passion which leads to his downfall, and is physically weaker than most other people but has his own brand of strength.  Lately, however, I've been feeling a connection with Tanis Half-Elven.  A child of rape, he lives in two worlds, elf and human, and neither wants him.  He struggles for belonging and faith, which he can't wrap his brain around, at least until the end of the story.  I think he's sort of like me, or I'm like him.  I exist in the realm of the theological and the homosexual, and currently neither side really understands my beliefs which causes me to have one foot in each movement.  Gay rights people want me to change religions, to something that's gay affirming.  But asking me to do that is like asking me to give up the bedrock of what I believe in.  But asking me to ignore/abandon/change my sexual orientation and not embrace it as a part of who I am is tantamount to the same thing. 

No wonder I have such inner turmoil. 

I did not intend this blog to end up this deep, but when you get started sometimes things just come pouring out, and if that's the case then I just broke the dam.  Hope you, dear reader, didn't get washed away, and are still with me.  And technically, at least in central time, I'm still on time for a Wednesday entry. 

Happy Wednesday!

A break in the heat which also means a break in blogging inspiration

So, I slept for 11.25 hours last night, woke up at around 12:45pm central time (I usually get up around 10am) and went "What the F***!".  Then I remembered it was wednesday and spent the morning checking Facebook and my webcomics and some news sites, trying to discover something to blog about. 

So I found a couple of things.  One of which is here.  In regards to a comment said at an HIV/AIDS fundraiser.  And I agree, there needs to be more information about the fact that HIV/AIDS is not just an old persons disease.  It can happen to anyone at anytime.  From elderly people to infants, because it is borne on the blood.  Any contact with infected blood, from a car accident victim for example, potentially carries a risk of infection.   It's not just from gay sex, or hetero sex, that you can be infected.  If the idea that HIV/AIDS is a sad, old person disease is a prevalent one, we are doing our future and our young people a disservice by allowing it.  More information is always a good thing, whether you want to hear it or not.  At least if you know you can make an informed decision. 

Also there is a comment beneath the story that makes a point as well.  The A in AIDS which means Acquired.  To a lot of people that means that you have to do something, you have to go out of your way to end up infected with HIV.  As mentioned above, that is not true.  The infection of an individual can be a complete accident or a result of a mix of factors.  Only one way to get infected is via intercourse (homo or hetero).  As mentioned above, because HIV is a blood borne infection, any contact with infected blood carries a risk, no matter how small, and that is something to keep in mind.

Salt Lake City apparently is banding together to combat hatred and intolerance, in this story.  I think it's wonderful that a community, both hetero and homo, are banding together to show solidarity against this sort of tragedy.  I do think, however, that it's sad that it took the beating of this poor young man for this sort of coming together to occur.  It's very disheartening that in our everyday lives that the LGBT+ community can't find this kind of cohesiveness.  I realize that human beings tend to gather together in the face of tragedy, suffering, and persecution, but what most young people don't understand (or care about) is that everyday we are viewed as second class citizens by anyone of our countrymen or peers, we are being persecuted, we are suffering, and it is a continuing tragedy that some can't let go of their hate. 

So, we'll go on.  And hopefully, to quote Dan Savage and company, it will get better.

There's a Liberal in the Deep South, Parents who do it right, and Homohelp!

So it's been awhile since I've had anything to post (which is not to say that there has been nothing going on in the world) and since I have had any time to actually do a little research and get a coherent post out of my brain and into the internet.  But fear not, as I have finally completed all of those things, while doing dishes, laundry, and earning a paycheck.  I want a cookie.

Where to start?  I think I'd like to begin with something that's been on my mind for awhile.  A while ago, a friend of mine (We'll call him Sunshine, you can find his blog to the left titled "my life on the z-list") posted a graphic with a link to a site called Homohelp.  It's a fun little site with snarky, helpful, and sometimes uplifting messages to help members of the LGBT(and more) community to get through life with a little bit of a laugh.  I'll admit that they have made me laugh from time to time.  But there was one that I read, and I haven't really been able to get it out of my head.  See it below, and then further on for why it's in my head.

So there it is.  I read that and it was as if it started something in my head.  So I've been thinking about this phrase off and on since I saw it posed in May.  I realize just as much as anyone that there is a point when having interaction with the LGBT+ community (the plus is to denote all the other letters in the acronym) that everything is about them and their orientation.  And yeah, it gets a little tiring from time to time.  But just as I thought that, I reminded myself that in the struggle for equality, isn't that exactly what we're fighting for?  The right to not be thought of as different or less because of who we are attracted to/love.  So maybe pride isn't necessarily just about celebrating gayness, maybe its about finally being able to express yourself in whatever way you want, no matter what, and live a life that makes you happy.  If that means embracing the gayness of oneself or someone else, or having the strength of character to come out and join the ranks of those fighting for equality, then yes, pride is more than parades and glitter.  Our pride is found in the riots of Stonewall and on the fence with Matthew Shepard.  Our pride is dirty, broken, bleeding, and beaten.  But we still have the strength to fight and celebrate, and *that* is something to have Pride about.

Wow.  That's a little deep, even for me.  Well continuing right along let's talk about parents.  Some parents have a rough time of it and some parents don't.  Other parents are doing it right, at least as far as I'm concerned.  Sunshine (see above) linked a story to his blog which you can find here.  The original story can be found here.  And I have posted it below, with no malicious intent or infringement intent either, because apparently Tumblr and Blogger don't like each other.

“Mommy, they are just like me.” 

My oldest son is six years old and in love for the first time.  He is in love with Blaine from Glee. 

For those who don’t know Blaine is a boy…a gay boy, the boyfriend of one of the main characters, Kurt.

This isn’t a ‘he thinks Blaine is really cool’ kind of love.  It is a mooning at a picture of Blaine’s face for a half hour followed by a wistful “He’s so pretty” kind of love.

He loves the episode where two boys kiss.  My son will call people in from other parts of the house to make sure they don’t miss his ‘favorite part.’  He’s been known to rewind it and watch it over again…and force other to, as well, if he doesn’t think people have been paying enough attention.

This infatuation doesn’t bother me or his father.  We live in a very hip-liberal neighborhood, many of our friends are gay, and idea of having a gay son isn’t something that bothers either of us.  Our son is going to be who he is, and it is our job to love him.  End of story.

He is also six.  Six year olds get obsessed with all kinds of things.  This might not mean anything at all.  We always joke that he’s either gay, or we have the best blackmail material in the history of mankind when he’s a 16 year old straight boy. (Take that naked bath time pictures!)

Then the other day we were traveling across the state listening to the Warblers album (of course), and in the middle of Candles, my son pipes up from the back seat.

“Mommy, Kurt and Blaine are boyfriends.”

“Yes, they are,” I affirm.

“They don’t like kissing girls.  They just kiss boys.”

“That’s true.”

“Mommy, they are just like me.”

“That’s great, baby.  You know I love you no matter what?”

“I know…” I could hear him rolling his eyes at me.

When we got home I recapped this conversation to his Dad, and we stood simply looking into each other’s eyes for a moment.  Then we smiled.

“So if at 16 he wants to make a big announcement at the dinner table, we can say ‘You told us when you were six.  Pass the carrots’ and he’ll be disappointed we stole his big dramatic moment,” my husband says with a laugh and hugs me.

Only time will tell if my son is gay, but if he is I am glad he’s mine.  I am glad he has been born into our family.  A family full of people who will love and accept him.  People who will never want him to change.  With parents who will look forward to dancing at his wedding.

And I have to admit, Blaine would be a really cute son-in-law.

So there it is.  I have to say that if all parents were as in touch with whatever true spirit of raising children there might be, these two have finally got it.  They realize that children are weird and that's ok.  And if he grows out of it, so what?  If not, so what?  And they're even mature enough to have a little humor about it with the "big announcement" comment and the blackmail material.  If all parents were to retain such a calm and sense of humor in the face of dealing with a weird infatuation of a 6 year old, maybe the world would be in a little better shape.  I'd be interested to see where this kid is in 10 years.

And now, for the Pièce de résistance, I finally found a liberal in the deep south.  I'll admit I was a little elated so realize that they exist down there and I hope he keeps doing what he's doing with his blog.  I was a little disappointed to see that he got his start with blogging as a reaction to some crazy homophobic preacher in the south.  I wish to extend my sympathy and empathy regarding all of that, and state for the record that not all of those who call themselves Christian are insane and psychologically manipulative through the use of religion.  Which I have to say that after watching a few YouTube videos of this pastor's preaching, I have to say it's a little cult-ish.  In that it uses similar ways cults would to break people down and reprogram them.  You can find one of the videos at Ashton Elijah's blog, (the video is at the bottom of the blog post) and another one on YouTube from the David Pakman show.  So, Ashton, keep up the good work, and know that you're not completely alone.  


So on that note I leave you, until next week because I have more laundry, dishes, and shopping to do, and it's not going to get done by itself.  Happy Wednesday!

The Return

So I have internet once again, for all the good it does my blog.  The first day I get internet I have to work and the second day I have internet I have to take care of a hell of a lot of adult things (chores, bill paying, laundry, and dishes).  Whoever said that being an adult was fun should be drug out into the street and shot at dawn.

So while I have nothing constructive to blog about recently, aside from my return to the net.  But expect exciting, new, fun things to happen next week Wednesday.  Thanks for following me during my exile from the internet. 

Bereft of internet...so this is what it's like

So, I moved on the first of June and still don't have internet.  I'm not in charge of it, and my roommate, who is in charge of it apparently doesn't think it's a priority.  I could go to alterra or something that has free internet access, but that's not going to work with my schedule or my budget.  So, for all of you people who are now reading my blog since I pretty much stopped updating, thanks, and I'll be back soon!